PVP is some hard shit. I am on a RP server so my characters didn’t grow up under constant threat of being gang-raped. But, alas, I get bored from time to time and decide to jump in a Wintergrasp Battle. After all, we have like a gazillion people there,so whats the odds of me being identified by the enemy as the noob, right? Well the odds are obviously pretty good.

I will begin this with a quote about the WG battle from one of my guildies. In regards to WG..”I just drive around in a catapult and fling plague barrels like crazy”. Bah, that sounded like something for squishies, I’m a Pally and I’m leet.

My pally hits level 80, I’m in Ret spec, geared with a couple t9 epics from daily badgers as I was leveling, the rest is quest rewards and drops. I decide I’m gonna go show the horde whos boss, so I pop in WG queue. Im standing in the courtyard at WG and..DING! fight has begun. Now, at this point I should have followed the crowd but, I decide im going to go it alone. So I’m skipping along and spot an undead rogue all alone and seemingly vulnerable.

I decide to sneak up on him and pwn my first opponent. Now think about what I just said, I’m going to “sneak” up on an enemy player in WG. Sneaking didn’t work, so I strike a pose that says..”Hello you filthy Horde Rogue, I am here to slay thee!” At this point he commences to whoopin my ass. He’s jumping and twisting and running around so much I wanted to yell “TIME-OUT”. By the time I get my wits about me and start jumping (obviously a skill that has to be learned), he has given me an ass whoopin that will go down in the Hordes history books. /pout

Now, not to be discouraged by one little defeat, I decide to find something other than a rogue, because obviously a rogue is the superior class in PVP, right? I find me a Belf Pally that appears to be afk or lagging and think “Yessss, easy pickins”. It also makes sense to me that pally against pally would be an even contest. So, I haul ass and dismount right in front of him. Then I strike my pose that screams “Hello, you filthy horde pally, I am here to best you on the field of batt…” WAIT…oh shit, oh shit…..DAMMIT..*release spirit*../pout

I now drive around in a catapult flinging plague barrels like crazy.