Tag Archive: Noob

Xavieria: What the Hell are you doing ShoDORKan?

Shodaran: I’m whoopin this practice dummies ass to build up my Unarmed skill, I want the Knuckle Sammich Achievement.

Xavieria: Ahhhh…Lemme know how that works out for you…*giggle*

Yes friends, I actually did this once upon a time with one of my first characters. Had it not been for a very nice passer-by, I may still be there skull thumping that dummy. This is how it went down, I decided that the best and easiest way to build my unarmed skill up was to do what we just discussed. I was about level 30 or so and right in the middle of a flurry Sugar Ray Leonard would have smiled at, I get a whisper.

Nice 70 palladin: Ummmm…What are you doing?

Me: I’m building my unarmed skill up *thinking Duh, what does it look like*

Nice 70 palladin: I don’t think that works, I think you may have to hit actual mobs.

Me: Really? Are you sure? Damn!

Nice 70 Palladin: You get an “A” for effort though, Bye.

As he rode off, I wondered what his guild chat was like at that moment and if I may as well delete this character now to save myself the embarrassment of ever seeing him again.


I sat and stared at this topic for a long time, not knowing what I wanted to write. I knew I didn’t want to write a guide, and quite frankly, I’ve created and deleted so many alts after they were level 14-17, level 1-10 is simple and mind-numbing.

I decided to share with you my very First level 1-10 experience. This is my first and only MMORPG to ever play. I was a year into play before I knew what MMORPG stood for, and the way I found out was embarrassing. I was in GameStop purchasing the BC expansion and the salesman asked how much I was enjoying playing a MMORPG, I replied quite smugly “I don’t play MMORPG, I play WoW.” Thank you Mister GameStop dude for not having a heart attack as you laughed at me, your face was turning purple, and to be honest I’m a little rusty on my CPR skills.

So, I roll a Nelf Warrior, because I think that a warrior would represent all that is good in My personality, right? Plus, one of the guys that got me to play has a warrior and it sounds cool. As a side note here, the guys that got me into the game had made an agreement with each other to let me flail along without help for awhile, after all, they did it without any help.

The opening screen comes up and my first thought is “this doesn’t look like what I’ve been seeing on their screens, I must be in the wrong place.” I find out before I go any further that this is my “starting zone.” So, I log back in and look around, “Oh look, theres a guy with an exclamation point over his head, lets go see whats up.” After 20 minutes of running through him, jumping around him, and clicking the few buttons I have on screen, I accidentally hit right click *AHA!!* Now we’re cooking with grease. After reading the quest text 20 times, I accept and notice a few others around, so I go and read their quest text 20 times each and accept each (even though I didn’t like the sound of one).

Ok, now I’m a good hour into this and havent done anything, but I also don’t realize that I’ve been staring at my screen for an hour, seems like I just sat down.

I begin questing, or I should say I begin killing. I kill everything in sight not exactly sure how this whole quest thing works, sometimes I’m getting credit towards a quest, other times I’m not. I pull up the quest log and reread all the quest, ok gotcha, now I have a plan. On the very next kill I ding level 2 and have no idea what just happened. This big flash of light hits me and I just know I’m dead. Hmmm, nothing happened, ok more killing. I kill the wolves and run back to turn it in, first one done. The very next quest I turn in I get hit by that big beam of light again, this is starting to concern me. At this point I figure out I can scroll back the text in my chat box and with this discovery I’m able to finally solve the mystery of the random light explosion on my character.

I enjoy similar struggles for another level or 2, then its time to expand my horizons and move into the next area. It took me awhile to figure out that if you stay on the road traveling your survival rate increases dramatically. This is where I’m first exposed to rested xp. I run up the ramp into the inn and all of a sudden there are z’s where my level is supposed to be, this cant be good. If my character is sleep walking he will die quickly in this very hostile environment, but I am greatly relieved that when I run back out, he wakes up *whew*. Another side note- I am well into my 20’s before I figure out rest=good.

At this point, I’m about 3 days into the game, yep 3 days, sad I know. Up to this point I have been in wisp form more than in regular form. I am a monstrous level 6 at this time and I still don’t realize that most of these NPC’s standing around can help me in one way or another, the only ones I’ve talked to are the vendors to empty my one bag. I continue to ignore them, I don’t need no stinking tradeskills.

I do notice that heroic strike isn’t packing the oomph! that it used to and that’s beginning to concern me as well, but I’m able to struggle through 2 days of questing to get to level 9 and get sent to Darnassus.

Darnassus, it must be a wondrous place and I should receive a heroes welcome after all of my accomplishments. As I approach the city, the first thing that comes into sight is that big-ass tree looking guy and he scares the bejeesus out of me. I spend at least 15 minutes trying to skirt the area to get in the city without him melting my face. It’s a few trips later that I discover he’s a good guy since he has a exclamation point over his head.

As I come up the steps the first NPC that I scroll across ( yep, I finally figured out by scrolling over an NPC, it tells you who they are) is a WHAT? A WARRIOR TRAINER? WTF!! You mean I can receive training to become more awesome? So, I click on him and am delighted. OMG…it must be Christmas, look at all that cool stuff..Wait.. I have to pay for it? But I spent all my money on weapons and armor from the vendor, and of course I had to buy food and water. That’s right sports fans, I bought water, gotta keep that mana level up (whatever mana is). But wait, My bag is full, so I go sell everything and come back only to discover I cant get everything.

I eventually discover various websites ( who’da thunk? websites about a game, what will they think of next?) these websites, along with actually reading the manual that came with WoW, finally set me upon the right path. This toon has been long gone as I moved on to bigger and better ones, but the pain of struggling through those first 10 levels is forever etched in my mind.

Flinging plague barrels

PVP is some hard shit. I am on a RP server so my characters didn’t grow up under constant threat of being gang-raped. But, alas, I get bored from time to time and decide to jump in a Wintergrasp Battle. After all, we have like a gazillion people there,so whats the odds of me being identified by the enemy as the noob, right? Well the odds are obviously pretty good.

I will begin this with a quote about the WG battle from one of my guildies. In regards to WG..”I just drive around in a catapult and fling plague barrels like crazy”. Bah, that sounded like something for squishies, I’m a Pally and I’m leet.

My pally hits level 80, I’m in Ret spec, geared with a couple t9 epics from daily badgers as I was leveling, the rest is quest rewards and drops. I decide I’m gonna go show the horde whos boss, so I pop in WG queue. Im standing in the courtyard at WG and..DING! fight has begun. Now, at this point I should have followed the crowd but, I decide im going to go it alone. So I’m skipping along and spot an undead rogue all alone and seemingly vulnerable.

I decide to sneak up on him and pwn my first opponent. Now think about what I just said, I’m going to “sneak” up on an enemy player in WG. Sneaking didn’t work, so I strike a pose that says..”Hello you filthy Horde Rogue, I am here to slay thee!” At this point he commences to whoopin my ass. He’s jumping and twisting and running around so much I wanted to yell “TIME-OUT”. By the time I get my wits about me and start jumping (obviously a skill that has to be learned), he has given me an ass whoopin that will go down in the Hordes history books. /pout

Now, not to be discouraged by one little defeat, I decide to find something other than a rogue, because obviously a rogue is the superior class in PVP, right? I find me a Belf Pally that appears to be afk or lagging and think “Yessss, easy pickins”. It also makes sense to me that pally against pally would be an even contest. So, I haul ass and dismount right in front of him. Then I strike my pose that screams “Hello, you filthy horde pally, I am here to best you on the field of batt…” WAIT…oh shit, oh shit…..DAMMIT..*release spirit*../pout

I now drive around in a catapult flinging plague barrels like crazy.